I’ve been surfing the net most of the day and found a variety of interesting quizzes to take.  Weirdly, these quizzes were found on a dating site.  Just a warning – if you go to The Cadaver Calculator site, none of the widgets worked for me, and they keep asking you to join the dating service.  It was still fun though.  Here is a little bit more about me then you would ever want to know!

The Cadaver Calculator -  After answering 20 quick questions I found out my cadaver would be worth $4200. Not a lot but not exactly chump change in today’s economy.

What would your body taste like to a cannibal? - After 13 quick questions I found out my body would most likely taste like undercooked chicken.  I would think some cannibals could cook and season their food according to taste.  Another quiz said I would be able to feed 12 cannibals with my undercooked chicken tasting flesh. 

How many five year old children could you take in a fight?- Surprisingly I could take on 20 five year olds .  Not because of my physical prowess but because I would fight dirty.  On the flip side another quiz said I could take on 24 ninety year old people.

What are your chances of surviving a zombie apocalypse? - I only scored 62% on this one.  I have been working on my cardio latley because I know I would make a delicious meal.

Would you eat your buddies in a blizzard? – I’m only 39% likely to eat my friends in a survival situation.  I would have scored much higher if they hadn’t been friends.

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Frightmare (1983) – This Troma Team Release was one of legendary horror actor Jeffrey Combs first films.  I’ve been trying to see every horror film Jeffrey Combs has been in and Netflix instant streaming came to the rescue on this one. 

Frightmare centers around Conrad Radzoff, an invented horror movie legend perfectly played by actor Ferdy Mayne.  Radzoff has a commanding presence, but he’s not the nicest guy.  The old actor passes away and is kept in a mausoleum turned shrine complete with large TV screen inside and flashing neon lights on the outside.  A group of film students who are huge fans of Radzoff break into the mausoleum and steal his body.  Why?  They just want to have a memorable evening with the film legend.  The students sit Radzoff’s corpse at the dinner table with them while they eat, they dance with him, take photographs with him, one girl even lovingly kisses him on the mouth.  In the meantime, the police are looking for the missing body and Radzoff’s widow is freaking out.  In hopes of locating the missing body she has a psychic communicate to Radzoff from beyond the grave.   Up to this point the film has a pretty interesting storyline, I mean I didn’t really care a lot about any of the characters other than Radzoff but it was still keeping my interest.  The film then became a teeny bit sluggish.  Radzoff comes back from the grave for revenge and obliterates the students one by one.  The kills are not very gory, bloody, or terribly original.  My personal favorite involved a coffin floating through the air chasing a girl.   The ending of any horror film is huge for me, and I really liked how Frightmare ended.

“He was terrifying in life, but even more so in death.”

Overall, Frightmare is for B movie for horror fans who have not lost their sense of humor.  It’s also cool to see a very young Jeffrey Combs, even though his role was pretty small.

Check out these other Troma films!

 

The Children

 

Hellblock 13

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I met the multi-talented actress Barbie Wilde last year at the 2008 Spooky Empire Horror Convention.  Barbie has had a vast career.  She has been an actress, dancer, writer, musician, TV personality, and much more.  At the time I only knew her as the female cenobite from Hellbound:Hellraiser 2 (1988).  Barbie was quite nice to me, but when a scream contest broke out nearby (remember we were at a horror convention) she became annoyed and said “I’m going to tear their souls apart!”  I really liked her.

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Isn’t this adorable?  I couldn’t resist!

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Bone Eater (2007) – I’m very surprised at this DVD cover, because nothing remotely that interesting happened in the film.  Why did I bother watching this you ask?  I was lured in by the title I mean Bone Eater is a very cool title.  That and the fact I will watch anything the syfy channel broadcasts.  So what can I say about this film?  It was extremely forgettable.  The Bone Eater itself was kinda sorta cool.  It was a giant half human half animal looking skelton that turns people to dust and devoured their bones.  When he wanted to catch people on motorcycles the Bone Eater made himself a bone horse to ride so he could catch the people and then eat their bones……………..I might be making this sound much better than it really was and that really isn’t my intention.  I like my readers so I won’t bore y0u with a plot summary.  In truth, I found both the dialogue and the storyline tiresome.  Even Bruce Boxleitner couldn’t bring any life to this film.  I’m also not entirely certain how this film wouldn’t be somewhat offensive to Native Americans.  You’ve been warned!  Save yourselves!

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